For weeks, my neighbor’s underwear hung outside my son Jake’s bedroom window, brightly colored and abundant. It started with a pair of thongs flapping in the wind, and Jake innocently asked, “Are those slingshots?” I tried to protect his innocence by closing the curtains, but the parade of lace and string continued, sparking more questions.

Fed up, I marched over to Lisa’s house to ask her to move her laundry, but she dismissed me and slammed the door. Determined to solve the issue, I made the biggest, brightest pair of granny panties I could, flamingo-printed and oversized enough to use as a tent. I hung them right in front of her window.

Her reaction? Shock, followed by surrender. She agreed to move her laundry, and peace returned to our street. Now Jake’s window is clear, and I have a fabulous flamingo curtain—sometimes, creativity and polyester are the best solutions.