1. A couple was dining at a luxurious 5-star restaurant. When their meal arrived, the husband eagerly said, “Our food is here! Let’s dig in!” His wife gently reminded him, “Darling, you always say your prayers before eating at home.” The husband replied with a grin, “That’s at home, my dear. Here, the chef knows what they’re doing.”

2. In New Orleans, a man walked into the produce section of a local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of cabbage. The young employee told him they only sold whole heads. The man insisted the employee check with the manager. As the boy walked to the back, he muttered to the manager, “Some old guy out there wants to buy half a head of cabbage.” Turning around, he realized the man had followed him and was standing right behind. Thinking quickly, the boy added, “…and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.” The manager approved, and the man left satisfied. Later, the manager complimented the boy on his quick thinking and asked where he was from. “Canada, sir,” the boy replied. “Why did you leave Canada?” the manager asked. The boy joked, “Sir, there’s nothing but pr*stitutes and ice hockey players there.” The manager, taken aback, said, “Is that so? My wife is from Canada!” The boy, without missing a beat, replied, “Really? Who did she play for?”